Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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