Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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