well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
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Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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