She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
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you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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