the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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