12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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