i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize