Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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