were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize