Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize