Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize