You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
being pregnant is like rehab
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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