Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
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Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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