So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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