Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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