On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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