he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize