Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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