Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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