he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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