So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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