Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drink are we having for lunch?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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