fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
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So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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