I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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