I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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