i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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