he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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