I showed him my bush... on skype.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize