So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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