He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize