He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize