Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize