i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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