I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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