we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize