im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize