Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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