everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize