I must be too annoying 4 u.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
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My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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