Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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