I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize