my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize