i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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