i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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