so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
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Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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