she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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