when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
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If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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