I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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