so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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