How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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